Moscow · Russia · 2023

DREAM

I moved from Siberia to Moscow and worked at two restaurants to pay for housing. Standing on my feet for 16 hours a day, depression and existential crises made themselves known. In my time off, I mostly slept—I could spend days in bed. For my birthday, I bought myself a film camera, and soon it became my reason to get out of bed. A reason to notice life. After developing my first two rolls, a dream of having an exhibition was born—photography immediately became a tool for communication and reflection for me, because in every image I saw a reflection of myself, my thoughts, and my emotions. A magical accident—a rewound disposable camera with unexposed film and the resulting double exposures—inspired me to buy a second camera, fully manual. Endless experimentation began, and I kept diving deeper into the world of photography and art. A year later, on my birthday, the dream of an exhibition became a reality. This is the story of my journey—one that resonated with many people through its sincerity and authenticity.

Mistakes

Mistakes are an inseparable part of the journey. Most of the frames could be called spoiled or unsuccessful. Yet it is precisely in them that the greatest interpretive depth exists, and without such “mistakes,” it is impossible to imagine the evolution of a living human being.

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At the exhibition, these “unsuccessful” images were placed around the central part.

Path

The foundation of the exhibition is my journey. The metaphor takes shape in strips of film suspended from the ceiling, which I used as part of the installation. You move through my experience, while at the same time encountering and reinterpreting your own.

Through my experiments with film, I kept asking myself—who am I, and what is my photography about? I never wanted to be just a portrait photographer, a camera with legs. I was simply living through photography all this time, and it immediately became my tool—a prism through which I could exchange stories with people, discovering myself through them. It’s not even a prism, but a whole kaleidoscope of meanings. Behind every photograph, there is a story waiting to be uncovered.

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Peoples

Over the course of this year, around a hundred people were revealed through my camera and film, and each of them became a part of me. The exhibition happened about people and for people. Without people, it wouldn’t have existed at all. This event came to life thanks to your belief in my dream, thanks to your emotional and financial support. It was the best birthday—and the day that divided my life into “before” and “after.”

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Afterword

I left the exhibition carrying 15 bouquets of flowers—and a serious question: who am I as an artist, and what am I meant to do with this miracle next? I searched for the answer for several years, but that is a completely different story.